Sunday, July 25, 2010


People at work are dumbfounded with my attitude. They seem to think I am a happy person because I am always friendly and smiling, but it is just part of my job. Even my family want to know if I am on something, for me to be so happy.

But truth be told, I am only smiling because for the first time ever I finally know where I belong. Among my fellow writers. I don't know any of the ladies whose blogs I follow very well but I can relate to them. I understand what they are going through and never ever have I ever been able to relate to other human beings before, not even my own family. So this is a major break through for me.

I am not naturally a happy person nor am I a very positive person, but since I took up my writing again, I became a more positive person. Believe you me, I have days that I am very sad and down for no particular reason, but the next day I will force myself to smile and be happy. I was in a very dark place emotionally for many years, I suffered from depression and I know what it feels like to be so low in life that you can't face the world, let alone your own family. I refuse to ever go back to such a dark place again. Therefore, I smile and force myself to be positive no matter what. I became a stronger person and I matured a lot too. And I have an endless supply of darkness in my memory banks that I can tap into if my writing ever requires it.

Not quite myself

I have no idea why, but I have not been feeling like myself. Even being in my own skin feels alien.  The good news is that I still managed t...