Monday, May 31, 2010


I want to write, but how do I start? That was one of the first questions I asked myself when I decided to reconnect with my passion for writing. Well, I personally don't think there's a right way or a wrong way (excluding grammar and other technical stuff like that of course). You have to find what makes sense for you or what works for you.

  1. You have to document your ideas. I write mine down and then later on type it in the computer, tweaking it where i see fit.
  2. Don't worry if your ideas are different. My writing ideas vary as well. For example the one day I feel like writing paranormal fiction, the next I might feel like just writing romance. Basically, write what you want, when you want, that's the fun part.
  3. Always and I can't stress this enough, always have a notepad handy to write down any ideas you might get. Trust me, you never know when inspiration might strike. Like when I use to work at my previous job and things started getting really stressful, my head would suddenly be bombarded by a series of wonderful ideas, but I only wrote them down later on and then I couldn't remember everything, causing a great deal of frustration.
  4. Don't worry if at first everything looks like a mess, the editing part starts later, but for now just write. Write to your hearts content.

So, I want to write, but how do I start? Put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard and write down what ever comes to mind. Let the inspiration flow or in my case, let the craziness begin.
For useful tips or handy advice, visit

Only way to be a writer is to write

After doing a tiresome search on the Internet on how to
become a writer, the most popular or should I say, consistent answer was, to write. Yes, you can complete various short courses and degree programs, who only provide you with the how to knowledge, but in the end the answer still remains, you have to write.

So, taking up the advise of many wise and wonderful writers on the Internet, I started writing again. My inspiration is finally back. I started writing down a few new ideas and planning out my next novel, which I am very happy about.

I wanted to submit my first finished novel, but decided against it. I think I am just going to enjoy the writing experience for now.
If you are looking for real advise from real writers or writing tips, then is a wonderful website.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Written Novel

I have an already completed novel that a fellow writer is reading and editing for me. I must say I have no patience left anymore. I finished the novel in March, after editing it for 3 months and waiting for my friend to finish it is driving me crazy. She has had it since April and she hasn't made much progress, which to me means two things.

One: it's not that good, if she doesn't feel captivated or inspired to want to read more.

Two: I might have absolutely no writing talent what so ever and i have been driving myself crazy for nothing.

I know I should just take a chill pill, but I am a natural worrier. I know, as if it isn't enough that I am paranoid and a complete basket case, now I worry excessively too.

I am still trying to avoid people as much as possible. It seems my Karma is all messed up. I always seem to attract violent people to me. People either want to attack me or just verbally assault me. I don't know why, maybe my family is right,maybe I am just a weirdo.

And to prove that point, I have been a team pit bull member for almost a month and nobody wants to invite me to be their friend. The only friend I have is my sister, who I made join team pit bull, just so that I didn't look too much like loser.

Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! I just don't want to be a failure at writing too. I am not drop dead gorgeous and I don't have a personality to die for, so I had hoped my writing was something that I could take pride in, something that for once I wasn't lousy at.

But I think I have bitched enough for one day.

Another Temporary Job Ends

I am officially unemployed, yet again. I have just finished my temporary contract yesterday. I wont lie, I am truly relieved. My boss was very demanding and she was starting to make me even more depressed, but now I have to start looking for a new job.
I love writing and I wish, like many others, that I could just write forever and not worry about the bills, but to be honest all writers have to have day jobs (unless your a famous writer like J.K Rowling or Stephenie Meyer) as for the rest of us wanna-be writers, you got to live in the real world first.
But I get to do a lot of writing in the mean time while I am job hunting. I have done a bit of writing since woofy died, but not much. I feel kind of guilty moving on without her, but I just try not to think about her departure. If I do, I find myself crying unbelievably huge tears, which freaks my family and my sisters dog out, not to mention our cat.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Life won't go on

I still feel very sad and depressed. Besides this post today, I haven't done any writing. Writing use to be my way of escaping the world and it also just so happened to be the something that woofy and I use to do together. But now it just makes me sad.
I am back at a bad point in my life. I am back to the stage of my life where things just keep going wrong, one after the other. And now my best friend isn't here anymore to make me feel better, or love me regardless of the fact that I am an underachiever.
Man, does life suck.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Good Bye to my best friend

My greatest fear has come true. My beloved dog and best friend ''Woofy'' (Pooffer) has died today. I would like to dedicate this post to her. She was the best friend any girl could have wished for. She has been there for me through every up and down time the last few years and I already miss her terribly. She supported and sat with me every single day that I had worked on my first novel and she was there for me when I started this blog. This was suppose to be another journey together, but unfortunaltey it didn't work out that way. I love her still and miss her terribly and I will probably miss her for many years to come.

In loving memory of my best friend, Woofy, without whom I would never have had the guts to write this blog or try my hardest to become a writer. I will love you always.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Bad News

I feel as if I just can't breath today. My dog that I had adopted 3 years ago, had to be rushed to the vet yesterday, because she had a problem breathing. So they kept her overnight. They think she has a serious heart condition. But I am still waiting for them to let me know.
I know many of you are thinking, wow, this woman is crazy, but I am truly sad today.
Believe it or not, she is my best friend. She loves me even though I am overweight, she sticks by me even though I am a weirdo and no matter what happens, she's always happy to see me. She is loyal to me, unlike any human has ever been.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Happy Morning

Today is a beautifull morning. The sun is shining and I feel happy. I completed about 5 pages of my book last night and that alone, puts a smile on my face. It is a slow progress, but I am getting there.
I am at home this week, just enjoying the peace and quiet and trying my best to write as much as I possibly can, before returning to work on monday. Thanks to my boss, holidaying in England, I have this week off. Yeah!
This morning my body hurts, thanks to the intense weight training session I had yesterday.
I am considering doing some kickboxing today.
I am fully commited to getting my body in shape.
I have been told that there needs to be a balance between mind and body. Writing helps the mind and exercise, hopefully helps my body.
If any one has some nice ideas, for weightloss or tips on how I can improve my writing or even spruce up my blog, please feel free to let me know.
For any other aspiring writers, who already don't know about this website, gives excellent advice on getting published, tips on how to improve on your writing and how to submit your manuscripts and they have a wonderful blog called the writers guide to literary agents that tells you everything you possibly need to know about finding a literary agent .

Monday, May 17, 2010

Life after depression

Today, I officially started my life again, on the clean slate I always wanted. (Not counting the earlier events, as discussed in detail).

Before embracing my love of the written word, I use to be one of those woman who wanted to be super successful and who had their whole life mapped out.
So after finishing high school, I went to college to complete a degree in animal science, which I at the time thought was perfect, because I already had a problem communicating with people then. But at the end of the 1st semester, my dad died and I was left distraught, not to mention that I still had exams to write. So, naturally I did horribly and I was forced to repeat every subject I failed, the following year with all the new 1st years.
So, I started slipping into a depression faze.
I wanted to quit, but my family pushed me to finish. I went back and like expected, it was horrible, for 4 years I had to put up with people trying to humiliate me and insult me. But after 4 years, I finally got my degree.
My depression started to lift, slightly.
Then my depression returned full steam, as I was unable to obtain full time employment for 3 years.
During the three years I had to do all sorts of temporary jobs, that were not in my field of expertise and that paid very little and that were at the bottom of the career ladder.
My depression got worse and so did my health.
One day, during September 2009, I woke up one morning and decided to stop being depressed and started sleeping less(6-7 hours at most), almost curing my depression instantly.
And then it hit me!
During my struggle with depression for 6 & 1/2 years, I gained about 37 kg. Which was enough to make me want to go into another depression cycle, but I decided to face what happened and move on.
Then I started a lifestyle change, eating differently and exercising regularly. And since September last year i have lost only 6kg, but I am not losing hope. I will lose the other 31 kg too.
In December 2009 I resumed my love for writing, that I abandoned right before college(2004), to become a serious career person. And I am a truly happier person today. Because I am writing again, my health is better, mentally I am better and I have accepted that I am a more artistic person.
Today, like I said, before ranting on and on and on, I have my clean slate to start from again.
I have a place and wonderful people to share my writing with and I am finishing my latest temporary job in 2 weeks and I am doing something positive about losing my weight.
Remembering that I always have my writing to run too, already makes my day better.

Just when you think it is safe to rejoin the human race, someone has to prove you wrong

Don't you just hate the fact that bad people can hurt you, physically and psychologically and there is nothing that you can do about it. Sure, it keeps you alert and warns you not be as vulnerable again but still... You are the one left with all the emotional scars and if you were really unlucky, the physical ones too.
Today my day started out good, I was planning on writing to my hearts content, but I was caught completely off guard, when someone jumped over my driveway gate and tried to steal something out of my yard. Luckily the guy ran off when I confronted him.
Yes, perhaps it may sound rather over dramatic to be blogging about such a minor incident, but the last time someone broke into my house while i was still in it. And it took me months to get over it.
Stuff like this really messes with my head and my writing. And if it's not enough that my writing suffers, there is that surge of adrenalin still rushing through your blood, that makes you feel all hot and bothered. But as soon as the adrenaline is gone, you're left with a deeply worried mind and a feeling of being in constant fear for your life. And trust me, I am paranoid enough as is.
I suffer from a mild case of anti-social behaviour for the exact fear that someone, or everyone is always trying to hurt me.
But at least one good thing came of it, I started my own blog today and now I can share my writing with you.

Not quite myself

I have no idea why, but I have not been feeling like myself. Even being in my own skin feels alien.  The good news is that I still managed t...