Friday, June 11, 2010


I have a weird feeling today. I feel almost restless but excited. It is as if I know something big is going to happen to me today. But I don't know what it means. Maybe I am just being superstitious.

Maybe it is my writing that is making me restless. I didn't sleep well last night, in fact, I didn't sleep much at all. I really want to start submitting my first manuscript, but I'm not really done with it yet. I know this is going to sound weird, but I can't wait for my first rejection letter. Because if I get a rejection letter, it means I tried to follow my dream and that I didn't just give up on it.

I feel in my gut that I am suppose to be a writer and it doesn't matter to me that my writing is mediocre right now. I know that as a writer, you only get better the longer you write and the older you get. But the thing that bothers me with that theory is that I am always a late bloomer with everything. So, I don't want to be 45 years old, when I successfully publish my first book.

All the websites I go on tells me to be patient, which is a struggle for me every single day. I tell myself ''be patient'' but my body is so excited and as I have previously stated, restless. I am such a weirdo.

Not quite myself

I have no idea why, but I have not been feeling like myself. Even being in my own skin feels alien.  The good news is that I still managed t...