Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Into the darkness I go again (IWSG)

IWSG Question: What was your very first piece of writing as an aspiring writer? Where is it now? Collecting dust or has it been published?

My  Answer: The first story I wrote was a love story of a misfit high school girl making friends with the new, but fast becoming popular boy. I was in high school at the time and was channeling my own feelings of not belonging. However, before I went off to college I destroyed all my written works, thinking of them as childish things that were of no value. After all, I was going to be a serious person. Sad,right? I was so uptight back then:)

Moving on to my insecurity . . . I feel rather frustrated. More with myself than anything else. Even though I have gotten some writing done and slowly finding myself getting back into a type of schedule, I'm still not as motivated as I once was. I want to do so much, but when I wake up in the mornings, I feel depressed and my mood is so dark and it pushes my creativity into dormancy. Just when I think I'm free of those feelings, they come back just when I'm ready to move on. I've blamed laziness and procrastination, but I just can't get out of this funk. 

I will be seeing my specialist, with regards to the pain and discomfort in my hands this month again. Hopefully I can get him to refer me to someone that can help with my depression. Hopefully then I can go back to my writing life and become sane again. Right now, all this lack of hope and desire to write is driving me crazy. This isn't who I am. Sorry that this post is so heavy. 

The Insecure Writers Support Group was created by the talented Mr. Alex J. Cavanaugh so that writers can share their insecurities and/or encourage others who need support with their own. You can visit Alex Here, or if you want to join us in discussing our insecurities on the first Wednesday of each month, you are welcome to join by going Here.