Wednesday, November 7, 2012

INSECURITY RAISES ITS UGLY HEAD

When it comes to insecurities, I have to admit I have plenty. It would be a lot easier listing the few things I am not insecure about, than to name all my insecurities, because let me tell you, we would be here for days. But I guess the biggest thing I have a problem with is that I do not know who I am without writing.

I am now in the process of job hunting, after working as a freelance writer (unsuccessfully). I loved freelancing. I got to work from home, work my own hours and I got to write, which is what I love. However, regular day jobs don’t have those perks and to be honest, I have become so accustomed to being my own boss, that I find it really hard to come to terms with doing yet another job I do not like. But, now that I will no longer be writing full time, I am really insecure. Not just as a person, but as a writer as well. I failed at finding regular clients and if my writing was so good, I should not have had a problem getting clients. Maybe I was and still am a terrible writer. Perhaps I am just a terrible person and I had it coming.

What I also liked about being a freelance writer was being able to say that I was a writer and that I had an income (not much), but now that I don’t have that anymore, who am I? I am just another aspiring writer trying to become published and who does not have a day job and who dreams big dreams. So I guess, I am just an insecure dreamer.

The Insecure Writers Support Group was created by the wonderful and talented author and blogger, Alex J. Cavanaugh. You guys can visit Alex over at http://alexjcavanaugh.blogspot.com.