Thursday, June 16, 2011


I am one of those crazy people who like to plan ahead so that I am never surprised by anything unexpected. But do you know what? One can never plan or foresee everything.

That is one lesson I have learned recently and yes, sometimes planning ahead helps but other times it is just impossible. Take the writing of my latest novel as an example. I can't think so far ahead with this leading character. Things just happen to her as we go along. All my other novels were planned ahead, the skeleton if you will and then I would add the meat or flesh later. But this one I got to add a toe or a limb at a time. Ok, now I sound creepy.

I can't tell you if she will get hit by a bus or when it will happen. So now I can't stop writing because I constantly want to know what will happen to her next.

I lack that kind of trust and passion in my own life. I am too afraid most times to find out what is going to happen to me. So I always want to know what will happen to me in advance or in the future. That's why I read my horoscopes regularly and read the tarot cards.

But I need more patience and trust I suppose. Which brings me to my point. Everything happens in its own time, so things will happen when it happens and I have to stop trying to figure everything out all the time. Sometimes I just have to go with the flow.

Not quite myself

I have no idea why, but I have not been feeling like myself. Even being in my own skin feels alien.  The good news is that I still managed t...