Monday, August 16, 2010


Time is still the one factor that eludes us. The one thing we can't bend or break to fit our needs. Whether we want more time to finish a deadline or the ability to go back in time to fix past mistakes, we still crave the ability to have some what control of our destiny. At least that is how I feel.

I would love to just wake up one morning and press a little remote control and go forward in time about 5 years to see if I did have the guts to submit my manuscript or if I did get published. Just that little indication that you don't have to worry about the future that everything will be OK.

However that is not the way life works. You can only ever do the best that you can do. We can't change the past, but yet we live in it. We can't predict the future, but yet we fear it. Time is completely out of our control, yet we still try our best to manipulate it.

The worst thing for me about time is the fact that you have to have a huge amount of patience. I want to start submitting my manuscript now because I feel like life is passing me by, but deep down I know my work is not ready yet. I am trying to make life work out according to my plans, instead of me needing to adapt to life's little curve balls.

Trying not to be a control freak is a daily challenge. But I have plenty of time to sort everything out. I think we as humans have to stop worrying about factors beyond our control. Easier said then done, I know. But it is a necessary step unfortunately.

Not quite myself

I have no idea why, but I have not been feeling like myself. Even being in my own skin feels alien.  The good news is that I still managed t...