Friday, June 29, 2012

I GUESS I DESERVE IT

In one of my previous posts, I mentioned that I am now a freelance writer with www.Elance.com and having been there for more than a month, I can say that they are a professional website that really does give you access to the best online jobs out there. I have had one dream client to date and my payment was pretty reasonable. 

One problem that I do have, is that we have to continuously bid for new work and then the client chooses who they wish to work with. The thing is, it basically comes down to luck and I have the worst luck, like ever. People that have less freelancing experience is getting more jobs than I am. Not to mention that people that are just as new as me, if not newer to the Elance experience, is working on a regular basis, while I am left worrying about where this months salary is going to come from. 

When it comes to day jobs, I have surely had a few and all of them were pretty out there and with questionable employers. Now I am wondering if I did not do a stupid thing by deciding to work as a freelancer, instead of going to work at my local grocery store for a regular monthly income. Yes, I am an educated woman with a bachelors degree in agriculture, which I am unable to use by the way, but so what? There are better qualified people out there in the world that do normal everyday jobs.

I liked freelancing because I could do it from home, but it has left me with less time for novel writing and right now, my favourite and best loved characters seem like strangers to me and that just kills my moral.

Right now I just feel really down and out because I am broke and the life I could always flee to for escape, my novel writing, is not as welcoming as it used to be. I feel like a turned my back on something that I loved and now writers block is my punishment.  

Depressed is the only feeling I am feeling right now. Once again my mother is right, because she always tells me that writing does not pay the bills and right now, for me, that is absolutely true.