Sunday, March 13, 2011


Ok, this is my entry from my current work in progress. It is undergoing editing at the moment so I apologize if it is not up to standard yet.

‘’You don’t have to leave’’ Alex said, trying to sound comforting but failing at it.
‘’There is a whole werewolf army out there that would like nothing more than to rip me to pieces. Of course I have to go. I have to figure a few things out’’ I said, sounding as if I was in a hurry.
I didn’t want to look at Alex. He would have some awkward look in his eyes.
I turned, not wanting to look at him and stared at the broken window. He caught me staring and gave a deep sigh. I of course pretended that I hadn’t noticed the window and turned back to my kitchen to rummage for something to take with me.
‘’I never did apologize for what I did. I am sorry. I was just—’’
‘’I don’t need your apology Alex’’ I snapped.
‘’Do you know where you are heading?’’ he said truly concerned.
I paused for a second, looking at him head on.
‘’No. I am just going to drive. Do you mind if I keep your truck for a little while longer?’’
He gave a little laugh ‘’consider it yours’’.
I turned back to the cupboards.
‘’What are you looking for?’’ he said walking into the kitchen and coming to stand next to me.
‘’Nothing’’ I said moving away from him.
‘’Is that what it is going to be like? You…running away every time I am in sniffing distance?’’
‘’It is my natural instinct to avoid you’’ I lied.
‘’You do it because weirdly enough you’re still afraid of me’’.
‘’Can you blame me?’’.
He walked out of the kitchen.
‘’You’re going to have to stop at a blood bank. And you might as well buy everything else you need when you get to your destination. You need some company?’’ he said.
I looked at him startled.
‘’I have to do this alone. It might take a while for me to fix everything and I think it would be better if you stayed here with your family’’ I tried to sound appreciative of the offer but I sounded harsh.
I grabbed my duffle bag and walked past him to the front door. I was halfway out of the door when I heard him talking.
‘’Don’t forget these’’ he said handing me my biker boots.
I took the boots from him, trying my best not to touch his skin.
‘’Thanks’’ I said walking past him to the kitchen counter and picking up my old apartment keys. ‘’The apartment and everything in it belongs to you. So you can sell it or do what ever you like’’ I said waiting for him to take the keys from me.
‘’I bought it for you’’.
‘’I won’t be using it anymore. I think I had enough of city life’’ I said dangling the keys for him to take.
He reached up and took the keys from my fingers.
‘’Thank you for everything. You are awesome’’ I said hesitating beside him.
He looked at me, wanting to reach out for me but hesitating. I in turn was staring at him too, not sure how exactly I was supposed to say goodbye to my soul mate.
It was a really awkward moment and it didn’t help that both of us were naturally stubborn people. Neither of us was going to show weakness in front of the other by giving in and giving an emotional response.
‘’See you when I see you’’ I said, smiling as I walked out the door.
As I walked out of the apartment I could hear him sigh and it didn’t sound like a sigh of relief. He sounded upset—in pain even.
I walked to the truck and put all the stuff on the back seat. I hesitated for a second, looking up at the broken window one last time and then I saw Alex staring down at me.
I gave him a big smile. But he didn’t respond.
I looked at him for one more second and then I was in the truck, driving away. Away from my past and heading into my future, finally getting to make the fresh start I always wanted.

Not quite myself

I have no idea why, but I have not been feeling like myself. Even being in my own skin feels alien.  The good news is that I still managed t...