Saturday, November 6, 2010


My life feels like one big surprise party. To some people that might sound like mind blowing fun but to me it is just scary. I hate surprises and one thing I hate even more than being caught off guard is being surrounded by too many people. I hate crowds. I can't stand it!

Yesterday I got sick at work and my big brother came to the rescue. After seeing me first hand he rushed me to our Doctor. I asked him not to tell our mother, because she would lose her mind as she stressed herself into oblivion. Anyway, after the doctor examined me, he too was worried. So I was sent for another sonar, but this time for all my organs and at another doctors office than the one I used before.

After being there for hours and hours we went back to my doctor who all but jumped in the air because the sonar couldn't pick something up meaning it is nothing life threatening. So he diagnosed me (drum role please) with an Ulcer. But he is not sure till I go for that test where they send a scope down your throat. Big brother is sorting that out and making sure I get an appointment as soon as possible.

Anyway, when I got home my mother was already waiting for me like a lion on the prowl in the Serengeti. Getting ready to make her kill. Because one of my brother's work colleagues called home to ask if I was doing better, remember my mom didn't know yet, because he heard I got sick at work. So much for not telling her. So my whole home environment is awkward and tense. It makes me feel even sicker. My head is killing me and my stomach is burning as if it is on fire, literally. My mom threw a tantrum as she always does and is giving all of us the silent treatment, after she scolded me of course.

My writing is put on hold yet again. My mother hates it when I write and if I write while I am sick she will just be even angrier. She quickly stopped out that's why I snuck to the computer room to write this post.

Oh, and I got my fourth rejection letter yesterday too. It was hiding in my brother's inbox. He said he didn't read it but I know the fact that I started querying agents isn't going to be a secret anymore.

See you when I see you.

Not quite myself

I have no idea why, but I have not been feeling like myself. Even being in my own skin feels alien.  The good news is that I still managed t...