Lately I’ve had this urge to make life as easy for myself as possible. I’ve found that I’ve been feeling overwhelmed with life and all the crap that goes with it. So, these days I actually say no if I’m asked to help, or do more than what I’m comfortable with. I always assumed others could instinctively know when I’m overwhelmed and thus, they would stop making demands. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. I know my own limits, so I have to say no. No one else is going to do it for me. I’m getting more and more emails about people wanting to use my blog to post about their products or their own random motives, and I instinctively say no. Most of these people just want to use my blog to get more exposure. Not even I use it for that purpose, so no.
Aside for saying no a lot more, I’ve learned to close unnecessary accounts, or limit my involvement on social media. Social media has taken a backseat lately. I’ve unsubscribed from numerous newsletters as well. I’ve been driving myself crazy, worrying that if I didn’t keep my Twitter, Facebook or Instagram accounts updated that potential readers would forget about me, or won’t care if I release another book. Having worried about the above, my blogging and writing has taken a nosedive. I realized that my writing is the most important thing. If I don’t blog regularly, that’s okay. I have to focus on writing more. Though, I really wish I could get motivated to blog regularly again.
On the good side, I’ve actually been writing. I’m in the third draft of book two. It actually turned out to be more of a beast than I had initially expected. I ended up with 112 400 words after the second draft. I’ve been trying to slim it down, but ended up adding even more words. Oops! So now I’m at 113 000. I know there are certain scenes that have to go, or that the story can do without. Cutting those unnecessary scenes are the most important now. So I can see how the story reads without them. But, if the story is good and ready to be polished and I’m still at 105 000, I’ll have to accept that. I originally wanted a word count under 100 000, mostly because it would make the editing more affordable. But if the word count ends up being big, so be it. That’s what I like about indie publishing. I can make up my own rules and decide my own word count. I’ll just worry about the editing costs when I get there.
I had to send out my first dmca takedown notice last weekend, when a few fellow bloggers alerted me that there was a site selling books without their permission. I had no idea my book was on there. But I wanted to check it out anyway, so there was my book being sold on this website for double than what I’m selling mine for on the major retailers. Once I sent the notice they were rather polite, and took my book down, but it still made me feel icky. So, my advice would be for everyone to go online and look for a dmca template and familiarize yourself with what it should look like, and have your own handy just in case you should need it one day. Most of the other writers had theirs at the ready, but I didn’t and I had to figure it all out, fast. But do you know what? This is all part of the modern writing life. Even traditionally published authors works was on that site. So if you’re an indie author or not, things like this will happen.
Lately I’ve been feeling like a bad person, or writer. If you check on social media most people are telling you of how awesome their life is, and how awesome their writing is coming along. I thought for the longest time that I was doing something wrong, or that I was a failure because my writing wasn’t coming along as fast, or easily. That I was a horrible person for not being able to do as much as others. So here is what I learned the hard way. Everyone is different. Everyone works at their own pace. I suffer from depression and anxiety. So, certain days will be more productive than other days. Some days may even be a total write-off in terms of productivity. I can’t always predict when one of those days will strike where I don’t have the will or energy to get out of bed. So, I no longer compare myself to others. I do what I can, when I can, with the time I have. I respect authors who can write for 16 hours a day. I applaud them. On a good day I can’t even do that. So yay, I’m happy for them. But I am not them. I am Murees Dupé and I’m lucky if I can write for 2 hours on a good day, and that is fine by me.
As for my previous post, about my custom domain, I got everything sorted. I can renew my current domain next year, or I can even transfer my domain to a cheaper service provider. There are other options out there, so I don’t have to feel trapped. I decided to not have a website. I love my blog and how easy it is to navigate. As long as people can find my books, I’m happy.
So yeah, that’s what I’ve been up to. How are you doing?
Well done Murees - it's important to do what you want to do ... in the time frame you can get things done. Each of us is unique ... and we just write and do what we do ... so be yourself - relax ... and carry on sorting out your life - so you have a clean on which to build your writing ... mind you - you're doing a fair amount of that - take care and all the best - cheers Hilary
ReplyDeleteYou know I don't write fast. Often I'm not writing at all.
ReplyDeleteI get emails from those just wanting to promote on my site. I've had people follow my site, ask for a guest post, and when I said no (because I'd just met them and obviously they'd not read my guest guidelines) they unfollowed me. Funny, huh? But yeah, with that and all things, don't be afraid to say no.
Write the story as it needs to be told. The word count will work itself out.
Want to trade? I always end up having to add a ton to get it up to the proper level.
Those people are strange. I usually write lean first drafts, but this one got a little out of control. Thank you for your support, Alex.
Deletei think it's great you are prioritizing and setting boundaries. I need to do better with my writing but my personal life stress can be overwhelming at times. I'm getting back into blogging and I've taken on projects, but I'm doing so from the standpoint of 'don't put all your eggs in one basket." I've been scrambling to make up for a lost project that paid the last two months and I hope to not have that stress again.
ReplyDeleteI understand. Stress can make one overwhelmed, especially the personal kind. I hope things improve for you. Yeah, most days I'm still struggling with asserting my boundaries, but it is so necessary for my sanity.
DeleteWe have to have priorities in life. Often we get just too involved with other projects and we need our
ReplyDeletesleep too. I thnk you are doing just fine. I haven't been motivated to post all summer. Too many other
projects to care for in the glorious sunshine. As the guy who worked on my chimney said to me, "Lifes
too short to be a worrywort. Three cheers to that.
Agreed. No more being a worrywort;) I'm glad that I'm not the only one who was away from blogging.
Deletewishing you hugs (you can't say no to that)
ReplyDeleteI definitely won't say not to hugs. Thank you, Mac.
DeleteI'm finding this post to be very inspirational—I spent the entirety nodding along and agreeing with you.
ReplyDeleteAnd Hooray for being on the third draft of your second book!! That's so exciting!!
Thank you, M.j. You are awesome.
DeleteHang in there, Murees! Taking care of yourself needs to be top priority. :)
ReplyDeleteI don't do a lot with social media, but I enjoy what I do, like blogging and visiting you all and spending some time on Goodreads. Not sure I could handle more than that. :)
Thank you, Madeline. Yeah, I definitely need to scale back. You're so smart for only doing what you enjoy.
DeleteYou're doing fantastic! It's so difficult to not compare ourselves to other writers. I'm guilty of that as well. And I always come up short when I do. It took a while for me to catch myself when I do this, but I don't do it nearly as often now. And I'm well aware each time. I'm a slow writer, too, so I know what you mean. Great hearing from you here :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Carol. Comparing myself to others is so toxic, and like you, I know when I do it these days, so I can stop when it gets out of control. Yay for us us slow writers! We stand together;) I'm in good company.
DeleteI've gotten those e-mails too, from people who wanted to advertise their blogs, books, etc. on my blog. I even got an e-mail from an "adult" toy company once, and they offered to send me a free "toy" in exchange for letting them advertise on my blog. I turned them all down.
ReplyDeleteIt's good to say no when you need/want to. When you say yes unwillingly, it can make it that much harder to do what you said yes to.
Thank you, N.W. I definitely get upset when I say yes to things I'm not passionate about, or which I don't care to do. It feels like such a betrayal to myself. But I say no these days and it feels good.
DeleteWhat? That is awful. Luckily my emails weren't that bad. Sorry N.W. Those people sure had a nerve.
What's amazing is how often I'm hearing the same story from other writers, including myself. Makes me so glad to have your posts in my life. There's so much of this business that we must ignore. Find your friends, I tell myself, and stick to the ones who make you smile, think, and ponder. Stay away from the rest.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you, Joylene. I've met so many great bloggers and fellow writers that are awesome friends, and without whom my life just wouldn't be the same. They are keepers. But there are things about this writing life that can be very toxic. I'm glad I decided to make a change. Thank you for visiting.
DeleteI've been feeling overwhelmed too. I think the overload makes the brain shut down, kind of like when the computer freezes when you click too many keys.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely. I'm learning to deal with the stress better. It is slow though.
DeleteWow, you've been busy. Learning to say no is hard. I was a chronic yes person for years. Somewhere around forty-five I started saying I couldn't commit to something if I either couldn't or didn't want to. It was really hard at first, but it gave me more control of my own life.
ReplyDeleteI respect you for that.I need to follow your example. Constantly saying yes is the bigggest contributor to my unhappiness, but I'm learning to say no more and more. It does make things easier when I do say no.
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