Tuesday, February 17, 2015

I’m a real-life Gollum

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The Lord of the Rings is definitely one of my favorite books and movies of all time. But lately I found that I’m a lot more like my least favorite character Gollum than I would like to be. I do sympathize with him, but I also want to strangle him. He has that eternal struggle with liking and hating himself. Where do I fit in? Well, I like myself. But then there are other days where I don’t, the depression drags me down and makes me feel like I’m an idiot for thinking I’m likeable. I’m actually the happiest I’ve ever been. I love my life and where I am, but I’m always struggling with the nasty depression monster.

Last week my depression medication got increased and I will always struggle, but unlike last year, I’m not just going to get into a little ball and pout. I’m writing and blogging now even though I don’t feel like it. Last year I didn’t want to blog when I wasn’t feeling my best. I watered down some of my posts as not to depress the blogosphere, but my blog is about what my life as a writer is like and I would like to stay true to that. Share the good and the bad. I apologize in advance if I will be posting things that my readers do not want to read, but I have to do this for me.

On the upside, my rewriting is coming along. The current scene requires a sense of happiness and positivity, which I have been struggling with, but music has really helped me get a better feel for certain scenes. I couldn’t imagine my life or writing without music. Also, can’t wait to see the Fifty Shades movie. Have any of you watched it yet? What did you think?


Have a great week everyone!