Tuesday, October 26, 2010


I finally got my test results back after two painful needle pricks and one uncomfortable sonar moment that revealed more about my own body then I wanted to know.

Anyway moving along. The specialist doctor I was referred to (sonar woman a.k.a the villain) felt that the reason I have been having problems with ill health was the fact that I am just too fat. That if I was thin I wouldn't have problems with fluctuating hormone levels and bad health. Basically she spent 2 minutes telling me I was fine, that there was nothing wrong with me (out of the ordinary) besides that I was fat. Then she spent the next 15 minutes lecturing me about being fat. Basically she just hates fat people.

In my defence I have started with a life change. I started counting my calories and exercising regularly. OK, I don't lose weight like crazy but I do lose weight. According to my previous dietitian predictions losing 0,5 kg a week is good and healthy. But no, ''Miss Sonar woman'' thinks that if I was really counting calories that I would have been at my goal weight already.

Moving On. I have been prescribed medication that I will have to be on for the rest of my life to keep my hormone balance stable (this is the same problem I had when I was skinny by the way. But according to her I was still fat then too). The funny thing is the medication my own doctor prescribed me is the same medication I used before when I packed on the weight I have now. But apparently it is the best. A trial and error process. So lets hope it doesn't make me even fatter.

So yeah, I am feeling a little down. But I have a reason to be. To have someone basically talk to you as if you weren't even human, as if you were some grotesque alien specie is hurtful. She was almost at the point of implying that every bad thing that ever happened to me was because I am fat, which was even more upsetting. Usually I would have said something back but I was in too much shock.

To make matters worse...when I went back to my own doctor to get my prescription the receptionist said ''Hi, I hear one of these days I am going to see a skinny you instead'' which meant ''Miss Sonar woman'' had put that into my results report for my doctor to read and because the receptionist handles all the administration she had read the report too. She is a sweet lady but I don't want everybody discussing me! Oh... the horror!

I only started having problems with my health lately when I started losing weight. So as a fatty I was healthy. But I feel a lot better now that I talked about this. I think blogging can be therapeutic.

So according to ''Miss Sonar Woman'' I am just too ''fat'' for life.

Not quite myself

I have no idea why, but I have not been feeling like myself. Even being in my own skin feels alien.  The good news is that I still managed t...