Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Reading into the past



Sunday evening I had a problem sleeping. It was 3 am and I didn't know what to do. So a thought occurred to me. I decided to read through my blog, but, only the very early posts. I found those first few years of posts to be very refreshing. Embarrassing and cringe worthy, but refreshing regardless.

The voice of those posts were so clear. It was so different from the voice with which I write today. What I really liked about those posts is that they were honest. I would like to think that I've kept that quality intact. I loved how I wrote from such an innocent perspective. I didn't think of myself as a writer then. I wrote like someone from the outside looking in. Though, somehow, over the years I had transitioned from the outside to the inside without me even realizing it.

I have since become a writer. I embraced the title with pride and excitement. It is still so strange how much I have changed and hadn't realized it until I read those old posts. I was such a different person back then. I hope it's not arrogant of me to say that I have grown, and have come to like myself and my writing even more. I have become so much more confident within myself, and my writing. I don't know if I would have come to this realization without therapy.

I now have to fight the urge to delete certain posts, or go back and rewrite them. I don't think it's right messing with my past. I had written those posts, and it gives me motivation to be a better blogger and writer in the future.

So, do you ever go back and look at previous posts, or photos? Do you ever look back at your past? If not, how are you doing today?

35 comments :

  1. I'm a memoir and personal essay writer, so yes, I revisit my past quite frequently. I love that you went back and like who you've become. That is wonderful. Me, too.

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    1. Thank you, Karen. I think you are so brave to confront the truth head on like that regularly.

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  2. Now you know you've grown and can see how far you've come.
    I'd really rather not go back and look at those lame posts...

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    1. I do understand your choice. Some of my posts were absolutely lame;)

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  3. Yeh for embracing our growth as writers and as people! :)

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  4. the past isn't my shiny apple. I'd prefer to live in my fantasy of actually selling a few books and afford to live comfortably into my old, deranged old age. *wink*

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  5. I was thinking about this today! I think the posts from my old blog have been lost into the ether unfortunately - I thought I didn't care but actually, there is a part of me that feels a bit sad. I would've liked to have read them again one day. Oh well, at least I have plenty of embarrassing photos to look back on instead ;)

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    1. No. I'm sure there has to be a way to find them. As for the photos, I looked at a few old ones the other day, and I hid them far at the back of the cupboard so nobody would find them anytime soon;)

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  6. What a thrill to discover that you've become a real writer! I often look back at old posts and sometimes share one from the past.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. You are very brave. But then again, your posts are always cool.

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    2. You're kind, but they're not always cool. I have made some of the worst unavailable for reading, though I didn't delete them.

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  7. Hi Murees - hang on to those posts - they'll inspire you to write new ones perhaps, or give you new ideas ... but they're yours - they're part of your journey ... so hold and be pleased you've kept going and are growing as an author with published works ... cheers Hilary

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    1. Thank you so much, Hilary. Your words are so true.

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  8. I haven't read some of my old posts in years, though I have reread a few others. I don't think I'd go back and revise them, though; for one thing, people usually read the most recent ones, so I just focus on revising the current posts before putting them online. I do like to keep the posts up, though, because it lets me (and others) know what I went through, like you said. I wish there was a way to print them all out and put them in a book without spending a bunch of money.

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    1. I think that would be a very cool idea. If not for the costs, then yeah, I'd probably do it too;)

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  9. Hmm. Now you've given me the urge to go back and read some of my early posts. I wonder what I'll think of them?

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    1. I think you will be impressed by your older posts. You might just enjoy it.

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  10. It's not arrogant at all. We all grow and get better over time. Looking back, we all can see a difference. I've been reading my old blog posts, too, but on paper. I've noticed silly mistakes that I'd like to fix, but I haven't. Typos happen on blogs. That's what I've been telling myself. :)

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    1. I agree. There are things i wanted to change too, but didn't.

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  11. I agree with Chrys, it's not at all arrogant! I've never thought about going back and reading old posts but maybe I will do the same as the A-Z Challenge has me feeling nostalgic about the start of my blog and the first Challenge I participated in. So glad you have grown to like yourself more, I feel the same and writing/blogging has been a big factor in that for me.

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    1. Thank you. Looking back can be fun. Let me know what you think of your old posts:)

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  12. You're refreshingly open and honest. So yes, you've kept that wonderful quality intact. I love that about you.

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  13. I wrote so much more in the beginning! SO MUCH MORE! And it was honest and raw. I'm not sure what happened - except major life changes and not having as much time to commit anymore. This post was a great way to nudge me to get writing again.

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    1. Glad i could help, Jennifer. I desperately want to get back in touch with the blogger and person i used to be.

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  14. It's been a long time since I looked back, but I do have to smile at those early posts. In fact, I'm surprised at how much wisdom many of them contain. Some days I wish I could be that person again, but then I remember how much I've grown and all is well.

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    1. I think we have all grown so much. It is so ubelievable right?

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  15. It's not arrogant at all. That is my biggest hope as a writer...that I am growing and getting better.

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  16. Sorry I kind of missed this post and it is such a wonderful one. But I did catch it now. I was not a constant commenter back then, but I do recall some of them and yes, you have definitely evolved into the writer and the confidant person. It is so interesting to go through that inspection of past-self and see one's progress. You haven't lost the basic YOU, you've just turned some wobbly self-doubt into a solid and firm personality.

    When I look back at my life, it's like a graph with it's peaks and valleys.......a crazy yo-yo. I believe that is normal for everyone but I think what matters is how quickly we recover. You've got it and here's a big thumb's up for you.

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    1. Thank you, Belva. I've definitely learnt a lot from you and am still learning;)

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  17. I don't look back as often as I used to. But you're right, there was a wonderment and innocence in those early years. You are constantly evolving, Murees. Isn't that exciting?!

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    1. It is exciting, but also scary;) But it is definitely part of life, right?

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