Sunday, July 17, 2011

SOMETIMES INSPIRATION IS JUST SCARY!

I am always in favor of inspiration and the wonderful ways it affects my life. Although lately I have been having second thoughts.

I am an aspiring romance writer and my favorite sub-genre would be paranormal romance. So naturally I relish any opportunity to use life’s experiences as an idea for a scene. All the emotional experiences I pick up along the way are useful too of course.

But a few days ago I was struck with a situation I do not ever want to be placed in again. There is a man who walks around in my neighborhood who is well known for coming onto your private property to unlawfully lay claim upon your possessions. Well, not only that but he is just creepy. He pretends to be crazy but I don’t think he is. He is just shifty.

Anyway, while I was alone on Thursday he came to my house. He was demanding I give him something to eat and when I refused (because if I do he just keeps coming back everyday) he kept bringing up something else and then something else, just to keep me outdoors and talking to him while his eyes roamed over my fully dressed body. I felt so vulnerable and so violated by the way he was staring at me. Something about him just screams danger. Anyway after asking him to leave numerous times and after the dogs were tired of barking at him, he finally left.

Even though he was gone I did not feel relieved. Because this was not the first time he showed up at my house. The last time I was in the street and he just approached me and started telling me how good I looked and before I knew it he was right there next to me, almost taking hold of me. Luckily I rushed behind my gate and I locked it before he could follow me in.

He always just shows up and refuses to leave. The police don’t really arrest him because I always see him prowling the neighborhood again soon, even though he behaves like a criminal. I have this fear that one day I will run into him when I am out and about and alone or that he might break into the house while I am alone or something and I don’t even want to think about what could happen if he does.

Maybe I am just being paranoid. All I know is that I don’t like feeling like a victim or like prey. This kind of fear is intolerable. I suppose I could use it to describe how defenseless a human feels in the presence of an immortal, but using him and his horrid creepiness as inspiration…would just taint my novel. I would not dare give him that much credit.

I am mean I know, but I don’t like it when someone makes me uncomfortable or scares me to the point that I am afraid to stick my head out of the front door.

8 comments :

  1. I find the emotions elicited by life experiences are great inspiration. That is, the feelings, only. I try to keep ACTUAL experiences private and twisted to fit the story I'm writing. That being said, you aren't giving him credit for anything, because the feeling is yours and yours alone to do with what you will. To not use it would give him the power of keeping you the victim!

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  2. I'm rattled just reading this. The experience is yours not his, use it.

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  3. Renee and Mary - Thanks ladies. I am making some notes about the experiences I had and hopefully I can really use it and do it justice. Thank you for the support.

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  4. If you are worried about your safety, I would definitely take care of that first - a bigger dog perhaps.

    I agree you can use it. The plot doesn't have to be the same and the female character doesn't have to be just like you. I wonder what would bring someone to the point of being in his shoes? There's a million reasons. It would make a good story.

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  5. I don't blame you for being afraid; that is a scary situation. You shouldn't have to feel unsafe when you're at home.

    Like others have said, though, using those emotions don't give him power over you. In fact, it seems like it would give you a certain power. You can take those emotions and use them for something positive.

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  6. Tonja - Thanks, Tonja.

    Shannon - I haven't really thought of it that way. Thank you.

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  7. I think you've already used the emotions. Your post gave me the shivers.
    Perhaps if the police won't do anything a call to adult mental health may be in order. They may have him on file. At any rate, I'd report to police every time he troubles you. (for what it's worth).

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  8. Better is possible - Thanks for the great advice. Sorry about the shivers part.

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