Breathe...breathe...breathe and breathe...
Monday, August 30, 2010
Breathe...breathe...breathe and breathe...
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
I know I might get a few tongue lashings for this but I finally got my other half of my manuscript (ms) back on Monday. I got a few very helpful suggestions. I however am editing it again myself. My friend didn't suggest any drastic changes or big issues with the ms and I personally feel that drastic changes need to be made. All in all I got a lot of credit for creativity. So I am happy with that. Guess being a bit of a drama queen comes in handy after all.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
I won't lie, I rather like blogging. It is a good way for me to vent but I'm not really good at it. I just complain a lot.
I might have very little time but I make sure that I do something productive with the little time I do have. And since I started writing full force again, I sleep like a baby. No more insomnia either.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Other news is that I have inflammation in the cartilage in my chest. Don't ask me how I got that right, I just know it hurts. But thanks to the injection the Doctor gave me, I feel no pain and I am floating on cloud nine right now. Yay for me.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Friday, August 6, 2010
Even my town, which I used to love, I cant stand anymore. As the town got bigger, so did the peoples attitudes. I don't see what is so hard about everyone just doing their job and minding their own business the rest of the time.
I think I might be allergic to human beings, truly. I can stay isolated in our house for weeks without longing for the company of other humans. I actually prefer to be by myself. My mother doesn't think I am normal and for once I actually agree with her.
Why am I ranting on and on again? Well, after work me and my one sister had to go buy some veggies and the girl at the till completely ignored us as we asked for a bag and when she added our total she just glared at me as I requested our bag for the second time. Then she just tosses the bag to one side and refused to pack my groceries in the bag. Now I am no snob, but she gets paid to do it and why the hell would I make her earn her money so easily? I sarcastically mentioned to her that I was probably supposed to pack in my own groceries and you would not believe the attitude I got. I had to leave before I insulted this woman and as I walked away she screamed insults behind my back. I had to restrain myself or I would probably have punched her in the face.
Just because I don't like interacting with other humans doesn't mean I am weak and defenseless. Being a weirdo like me during school, I had to learn to take care of myself. I have this philosophy that if I treat you with respect I deserve the same common courtesy and if you are awful to me then trust me, I can be very awful too.
I suppose what I don't get about us humans is why we can't just be civil. At work I would never treat a client or even a co-worker with disrespect, so why does someone else think that it is OK to treat me like that? I always say please and thank you and I will always be polite even when I am furious, because I think my fellow human beings deserves it.
Guess I can use this anger for a scene in my next book, blah.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
The temporary reception job I am doing now is advertised in the local papers as a permanent job. I applied for it, just so that I can have an income. Don't know if I will actually get it though. I am applying for another job too. It is a reception job/wine sales/administration job. But I won't stress about it. If I get it, I get it, if I don't then just too bad. I just can't worry about things out of my control anymore.
My eyes were bulging inside my head. I am not ashamed of being an aspiring writer, but I don't want everyone knowing that I want to be one. Anyway, I smile politely and nod. He then mentions to me that his youngest daughter, who is at university, wants to be a writer too and that she has spent the last year researching how to become a writer.
I wish her the best of luck though. I hope that writing will one day make her as happy as it makes me.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
As you know I have enough crap in my life and the last thing I need, is being afraid to express my creativity because certain people know everything about everything.
All in all it is a good site if you need advice or want to make new friends. I am thankful, because if it wasn't for writers digest I would never have met Heather Garner. A fellow writer who's blog, http://hmgardner.blogspot.com/ (The waiting is the hardest part) and writing I just adore. And like me, she too struggles to become a professional writer. And thanks to Heather's blog I also met Leah Renee, http://leahonveggies.blogspot.com/ (Writing on veggies), another writer who is also very talented. Two very cool ladies I might add.
I recommend the writers digest site to anyone who wants to be part of a writing community or socially interact with other writers. Personally, I will just stick to my blog. It's not very popular, but it allows me to write, which is all I care about right now.
I am making notes of how I am feeling every day so that I can use it in my next book. Some good might as well come from my latest slump.
One memory that bothers me though, is the one of me, confessing my love to my college crush in a very well written email and then only finding out later, after I resent it a second time, that he is actually happily married and that he thinks I am insane. Not that he replied, no, my sister found out that he is married and thought she might put me out of my misery. The upside to that memory is that I wrote my first book and the the girl actually does get the guy in my book. She gets the happy ending I wanted, but I am actually glad I didn't get, because who knows if I would still have been writing if I was living happily ever after somewhere.
Yes, I might be unhappy about certain aspects of my life, but I can't let it get me down. I just can't. So why not use them? In the end I will have all the ass wholes to thank if my ideas actually turn out to be any good. In the long run, the meaner they are to me, the more inspiration they give me and in fact, they would just be fueling my creativity. So bring on the ass wholes, because I have a lot of books I still want to write.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Monday, August 2, 2010
I know how many people are unemployed in my country and how lucky I am to be employed. Still, I am not happy. I tried just doing my job to the best of my abilities and not getting caught up in the drama, but still my best is just not good enough. I came so close to telling them to shove their job there where the sun don't shine.
My family is rightfully, giving me a lot of crap. My mom doesn't like the fact that I seem to be unable to work for a boss. I can work for a boss, what I cant do is work with people that all think that they are my boss and that they are entitled to treat me like crap just because they can.
My family thinks that I am making all of this up so that I can stay home and just write. Which is not the truth. I have told them before that I have a problem working with people and they just laughed at me. I don't think being a receptionist/switchboard operator is the best job for someone who can't handle people.
I had a great idea for a post this morning, about what you can do to feel better when you are down on your luck. However, I cant publish it now considering that I would be a hypocrite. I don't feel like being rational at the moment and the last think I want to do is write about something that isn't true. So me, suggesting to other people to relax and not taking my own advice, would be severely hypocritical.